Being A Woman: Why Your Abuse is Only Making Us Stronger

Being a woman means being strong. It does not have to do with physical strength, but with emotional. You men may have the physical strength to knock us down, to beat us up until we no longer recognize who’s staring back at them in the mirror. But women, we have the emotional strength. We have the emotional strength to rise above your physical strength that knocks us down.

You may have the power to make us think that we’re worthless, ugly, sluts. But what you don’t know is your words, your scars, your bruises, they make us stronger. The pain you cause us is the fuel to our strength. You knock us down 9 times, we come back 10 times stronger. The more you beat us up with your words and your fists, the more we come together and the more we put up a fight. You’re building stronger more beautiful women. You think you’re ruining us. You think you’re getting in our heads. You think you’ve knocked us down one last time, but we will always come back a tad bit stronger than you.

So go for it. Call us crazy and obsessive for caring about you. Tell us everything is our fault when we all know it’s yours. Call us whores for having guy friends. Call us sluts for talking to one guy, meanwhile you’re talking to five girls. Make us think we’re dirty for kissing someone. Tell one girl you love her, and take the other out to dinner the same night. Make us think we’re not worthy enough to be treated like royalty. Make us think we’re less then you. Make us think we’re worse than you. I dare you.

Because you don’t know how much stronger you’re making us. When we’re 18 your words seem like the end of the world. They crush us and push us down and make us cry into the shoulders of our friends. But once we’re older, oh boys do I have a news flash for you, we pity you. We pity your worthless efforts at knocking us down. We know when you’re trying hard to make us feel like nothing. But we’re old enough now to have learned. We’re old enough to recognize the sad, pathetic efforts at making us feel like women aren’t worth it. We’re old enough to know we are beautiful. We are amazing. We are smart. We are courageous. We are warriors. We are worth it. 

Being a woman means recognizing your efforts at making us feel all these things, and rising up against it. Being a woman means being mature enough to smile at someone who’s done us wrong and then walking away. Being a woman means gathering up enough courage to tell you that it’s not our fault. It’s yours. Being a woman means not needing a man. Being a woman means standing up for your friends. Being a woman means loving yourself and your body. Being a woman means forgiving your abuser.

Being a woman means being a mother. A daughter. A sister. A cousin. A wife. Being a woman means being a teacher. A chef. A scientist. A doctor. An inventor. A mathematician. An astronaut. Being a woman means being an athlete. A soccer player. A volleyball player. A golfer. A basketball player. A football player. Being a woman means being a voter. A politician. A supporter. A protester. Being a woman means being strong. Having courage. Having physical strength. Having emotional strength. Having the strength to rise above. Having rights. Having dreams. Having confidence. Courage. Beauty. Grace. Power. Class. Patience. Love. Passion. Desires. Understanding. Strength. 

No matter what we go through we will always have strength. A growing strength inside of us that never ceases to disappear. No matter what we hear or what we feel. No matter if we’re hit with words or with closed fists. We come back as warriors. We haven’t given up yet. We’ve only grown stronger and more united. Your words and your scars and your bruises can’t knock me down. Your harsh words and scars and bruises and efforts to ruin me have not broken me. They have made me feel worthless and stupid and scared. But you don’t deserve to make me feel those things. You don’t deserve my pain or my sadness. You don’t deserve to break me. I am fearless and strong and powerful and you don’t deserve to take that away from me. No one deserves to take that away from any woman. We are warriors and we rise above anything that comes our way. You cannot break us. You only make us stronger.

She’s been through hell and came out an angel. You didn’t break her, darling. You don’t own that kind of power.

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Author: sydneyshibuya

If you're reading this you probably know me and you probably know what I've been through this past year. You probably don't know that I struggle with generalized anxiety disorder every day. After years of psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists telling me to write all of my feelings and stories down, I have finally gotten to a point where I feel like it's my only option for recovery. You can follow along with my story, but be warned I am (like most 21 year olds these days) an emotional wreck, and a scarily very detailed writer. I also have no filter so be warned that most of my posts won't have a filter. My wish is for domestic violence to be talked about more openly. I hope that from reading this people realize that their seemingly perfect relationship can have it's problems. Your best friend could be hiding behind smiley Instagram posts, but covering up bruises behind closed doors. I hope that my story motivates these people to step up and leave their abusive relationships. It took me a long time after my relationship ended to realize that it was in fact an abusive relationship. I hope that from my stories other people learn to realize the signs before I did. Help me end the silence of domestic violence. xoxo Syd

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